Can I cave for a minute? Can I give into self-pity?
For the most part, raising a child with a disability has been good.... some great moments, some not so great.
Right now, we're in the thick of the not so great days.....
Lincoln has been put on a behavioral plan at school.He (primarily) has been slapping, hitting, kicking other kids... throwing toys, swiping desktops clean of their items -- and it can be done in lieu of communication, in frustration, and in protest -- but it is almost never in anger **MOST of the time... but I know, like any other kid - he can get mad.
We have now been kicked out of two classrooms -- He has slapped a child in each class, in the face... and I TOTALLY understand the school's requirement to provide a safe place for all students -- and believe me when I say, this behavior isn't heavier on anyone else's heart than mine, that MY child is doing this. *sigh...
I am not trained or educated in the behaviors of children with disabilities. I do not know how to make him stop. I question which discipline is appropriate when he acts up, and what is the best way to teach him to continue displaying the behaviors we as parents, expect.
I dread every time the phone rinds and my caller ID says, "KM Preschool", because I can bet all the money in the world, they're not calling to tell me he had a great day.
I don't know if I should talk to him about his behavior or say nothing - to avoid planting the next seed.... I've tried both ways and the outcome doesn't seem to change significantly either way.
His plan was supposed to teach him how to ask kids to play with him, help the teachers recognize when his behavior seems to be elevating and how to allow him the space and time to work these feelings out, without aggression. We never progressed far into the plan to see if we'd have success - he had 2 1/2 days before he slapped someone and we were kicked out.
We are meeting again with the school tomorrow - and they plan to propose the 1:1 time he's currently getting in place of that former classroom time, (now with his Para, the Speech Therapist, and his Spec Ed Teacher) that instead, he will only attend the Special Ed afternoon class, four days a week. This will be about a 1/3 reduction in time at school for him. The reasoning behind this proposal is they don't really have the space, academic structure, routines available to occupy his time from 8:45 - 11, three days a week. I hear them. I don't agree with this... but I hear them. I'm discovering - usually the decision is already made.
I don't know if this is a phase in his behavior *I hope it is*, I don't know when his language skills continue to develop, if his frustration level will go down. I don't know how long it will take, if it ever comes... but I know no matter what I will fight for him. All. Day. Long. To figure out how to get him past this. To get US past this. I will do it with or without the help of others...
As much as I wish I didn't have to be going through this, I am. We are.
And it sucks. :(
